Thursday, January 10, 2013

Piers Morgan vs. Alex Jones; I Have Lost My Faith in God

Overzealous conspiratarian and Ideal Ritalin Test Subject #1 Alex Jones was on muskets-in-the-2nd-Amendment Piers Morgan’s show a few days ago.  This would be funny if it weren’t all so painfully real.  I have lost my faith in God…

Okay, I haven’t really lost my faith in God.  Hell, if there was any one event that would have made me renounce my faith in the Almighty who both blessed and cursed me with life on this cartoon cavalcade of a circus planet, it probably would have been my soul-crushing break up with the most stunningly beautiful (no joke) Ron Paul supporter in the state of Indiana.  Creepertarians, you can stop your heavy breathing now!

Upon viewing the televised verbal clash I was tempted to simply drink myself into a stupor requiring medical attention and voluntary commitment to a sanitarium, with the hopes I’d sober up and check myself out just in time to caucus for Rand Paul in Iowa in December 2015.  However, I figured if Job lost his whole family to Satanic-induced death, his health to boils, and his home to stronger wind than Kansas in The Wizard of Oz, then I probably had very little room to complain.  Damn, I hate it when other people’s real problems expose my first-world problems as pathetic…

But I digress.

Alex Jones was on Piers Morgan’s show on national cable television.  This at first made me burst into hysterical laughter.  This is better than a prime-time mash-up of The Kardashians and Jersey Shore!  Then I suddenly realized the ramifications of Alex Jones TALKING on Piers Morgan’s national cable show: Oh. Crap.

I watched the interview and Jones jumped straight to the Totalitarians Argument.  I will give credit where credit is due: Jones did his homework and came to the set with FBI crime statistics showing an average 20% drop in violent crime in areas with more guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens.  He also was absolutely correct that the Second Amendment was written to protect citizens from tyrannical government.  Anyone who doesn’t believe me can read Federalist # 46 (written by the author of the Constitution).

Then the rest of the interview was Jones shouting like a man doomed to stroke out while Morgan was the stereotypical snippety English elitist.  What horrified me most was that the clip of Jones warning of 1776 happening again made it onto the Daily Show with Jon Stewart.  This means Alex Jones is considered by mainstreamers to be a voice of libertarianism.  People are now uttering the name of a ranting conspiratarian in the sentence as [the name of] a well-loved retired Republican Congressman from Lake Jackson, Texas.  WHY, GOD, WHY?!

What many conspiratarians (and fanatical Libertarian Party members) often fail to understand is this: while the Totalitarians argument (Hitler, Stalin, Mao took the guns…) is absolutely correct, we can’t just blitzkrieg ideological opponents with it.  We need to stick with Ron Paul/Rand Paul/Mike Lee/Justin Amash approach and be the libertarian snakes in the neoconservative grass.  We have to gradually convince the public of the validity of libertarian ideas through a clear line of reasoning.  Otherwise, we look like crazy ideologues who go on YouTube and talk about all the undercover cops that have been following them since their interview on the Piers Morgan show.

As for Piers Morgan, his arguments were fallacious.  The fact still stands that Sandy Hook Elementary School, the movie theater in Aurora, and Columbine High School were all designated Gun Free Zones.  Piers is a man in a precarious position right now; few people have over 104,000 signatures demanding their deportation on  Ouch!  And I thought I had problems!  There was only one person who wanted me out of Indiana.  Suck to be you, Piers!

* * *

YouTube video not my property but used via Standard YouTube License.  Image is the property of Alex Jones, used via CC BY-SA 3.0 license, and was obtained from Wikimedia commons.


  1. Piers Morgan is a NWO shill. He is not a citizen of this country, so what business does he have in saying anything about our country. Likewise, what the fuck business does America's communist president Obama, and former fascist presidents Bush One and Two have telling other countries what they should do. My fellow Americans ... do NOT give up your guns. Hide them. Just don't give them up.

  2. Nice column, Zach. Fun to read but very informative. Morgan is like a radio that can only send but not receive. Simply a simple minded shill for the british crown and the new world order. As far as Jones goes; he did have some good info, but, he did end up sounding a little crazed.
    Thanks for the article.