Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Should California Secede from the Union?

Should California WHAT?  Are you insane?  Has anyone actually thought this crackpot idea through?

What they THINK Cali independence will look like
I fully understand the sentiments of many of the even-tempered conservatives, anarcho-capitalist libertarians, and even neoconservative Republicans (the kind who hate Obama more than Satan and are reconciled with God through his supposed Other Son, Ronald Reagan) who support this naïve utopian idea.

It also seems as if many of the people asking me to sign that petition firmly believe Ron Paul could have won as a write-in candidate, that Gary Johnson stole his thunder, and that using Instagram will significantly boost the integrity of their photography portfolio.  Now they believe that a petition will help bring about a peaceful 10th Amendment-style revolution to restore state sovereignty and individual liberty.

I wish they would all quit this obnoxious exercise.  Then again, I could wish in one hand and drool in the other and we’ll see which one fills up faster.

In case no one’s figured it out yet, I’m completely against California seceding from the Union, even if I’m for secession in other countries.

First of all, I stick around in politics because I want to build bridges within the country, not fracture it.  I have just as much love for the Blue Ridge Mountains as I do for the sunrise over Boston Harbor and the sunset over the Mojave Desert.  Okay, well, maybe not so much the Mojave Desert….

But in all seriousness, Mass media and the hyper-polarization of politics has greatly divided Americans and splitting up the country will only further the division without actually doing anything about the polarized attitudes inside of every newly seceded state.  Elimination of the Democrat and Republican Parties doesn’t eliminate the masses who strongly identify with “the left” or “the right,” no matter how correct Murray Rothbard was in his Left, Right essay.

Second of all, I believe we owe it to the memory of our country’s Civil War veterans—both North and South—to remain united and find better ways to solve our national problems than cutting and running, and especially through fighting.  [Can we just elect Rand Paul already???]  If I may quote Confederate veteran Sam Watkins:

“Our cause was lost from the beginning.  Our greatest victories—Chickamauga and Franklin—were our greatest defeats.  Our people were divided upon the question of Union and secession…  The private soldier fought and starved and died for naught.”

In other words, it ultimately wasn’t worth it.  By the way, if anyone’s offended that I’m quoting Confederate veterans, they might as well stop reading here and now.  This is my rant and if they don’t like it, I will now make it my personal mission to offend them even more deeply.

Just because it’s possible for someone to respect the white, black, Hispanic, and Native American Confederate veterans doesn’t mean that person has the Birth of a Nation movie poster on their bedroom wall.  Sheesh!  [By the way, any politically correct bozo who thinks I’m full of it can Google search “HK Edgerton” and have their mind blown.]

You’re welcome.

What Cali independence will actually look like
Thirdly—and this is the one no one’s expecting—any libertarians who think this will be the new state for anarchist experimentation, or “conservative” Republicans convinced that secession will save us from the tyranny of Obama and help restore the Norman Rockwell painting of what California used to be many decades ago, are sorely mistaken.

[Let me point out that the former spend entirely too much time making maps of where the FEMA concentration camps are located while the latter believe that Rick Santorum was popular enough to have defeated Obama in the General Election.]

Take one moment to think about the political reality of California… THIS STATE IS A BASTION OF LEFTISM!  Seriously, a California Republic will become the People’s Socialist Republic of California in, like, 7 freaking minutes.  Sure, recreational marijuana users won’t have to worry about the DEA, but there will also be:

  • ·         Individual mandates that make ObomneyCare look like a fiscally responsible mere suggestion… (God forbid we should allow market-based solutions!)
  • ·         Taxes and the state budget deficit flying to the moon faster than Red Bull’s impressive space program
  • ·         More police to hassle everyone
  • ·         More regulations and state control on private industry here than in the Third Reich.

Yes indeed, people will need that weed to get as high as possible just to cope with the depressing realities of life in the new Workers’ Paradise.

If we want to boost states’ sovereignty, nullification and noncompliance with federal law are a much better method than secession.

Now that I’ve angered libertarians, Republicans, Democrats, and Marxists alike, my work here is done… for now.  I’m off to procrastinate on Facebook for the 900th time today.


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"Writing the Declaration of Independence" painting by Jean Leon Gerome Ferris.  "Lenin on Board the Cruiser Aurora" painting by Sandor Legrady, made into a postage stamp by the government of the People's Republic of Hungary.  Both images were obtained from Wikimedia Commons and are in the public domain.

Even if the second one wasn't public domain, I still wouldn't pay any royalties to Marxists because it would go against their ideology.  People over profits, right??  Booyah!

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