I'm Zach Foster and I'm blessed to be a man of many hats. This is the one room where you can look into all the different windows of my mind. Read on if you're ready to think outside the box! "Call it a character flaw -- when under attack, I counter attack. Always." --Richard Marcinko, Rogue Warrior
"We're living Call of Duty and it sucks." --Robert
As a courtesy to you, the reader, SPOILER ALERT!Now don’t go whining that I didn’t warn you.
This lovely little rant deals with the
remake of Red Dawn.Overall I enjoyed the film because I’m pretty
easy to entertain and I also walked into the theater with low expectations.Let me explain the main issue I had which
tantalized me throughout the entire movie…
The flag of Occupied America in the new Red Dawn
By the looks of the trailer, it’s a
large Asian army invading Main Street USA.If you took a glance at their combat uniforms like I did, the pattern
looks a hell of a lot like Chinese PLA (People’s Liberation Army).The Chinese communist army invading the
United States???That’s actually pretty plausible
and would make for an awesome movie.
The Chinese regular army is a hell of a
lot bigger than the US Army, and unlike the latter, the PLA isn’t spread thin
with global-wide garrisons.Even though
it would never last more than a decade, a Chinese invasion and occupation of
the American mainland is fairly possible.Given the rising U.S. national debt (and the share of it owned by the
Chinese) plus the total inability at this time to pay it back, the growing
likelihood of such an invasion is less far-fetched than it was during the Cold
I could truly appreciate this scenario
for a new Red Dawn.Hell, this might have even been a better
scenario than that in the 1984 original where the Soviet Army invades.There was the good scenario for the remake,
and then there’s what actually happened with this movie and in this movie…
during post-production MGM decided they didn’t want to hurt China’s feelings
and lose all the distribution rights, so the movie was digitally altered in
post-production to make the invading army North Korean.
Go ahead and re-read that last sentence
and give it a moment to sink in.No,
that wasn’t a typo; MGM really rolled with that terrible idea.Now before all you diehard neoconservative
nationalists and anarcho-capitalist libertarians start picking my gripe apart,
I will concede that the Korean People’s Army has over one million regulars,
plus another 4 or 5 million reserves and militia and blah-blah-blah.The problem is, there’s the on-paper KPA
strength and then the number that are actually deployable.
quote the great Congressman Ron Paul, “They have no gasoline!”
So basically, all 47 deployable North
Koreans are invading the Pacific Northwest and their secret weapon is
Dumbledore’s clicker that shuts the lights off.Gotcha….But lame as lameness
goes, like the Atlas Shrugged movies,
I got myself all kinds of excited over this movie, so it was my moral
obligation to go see it.
There were three redeeming factors in
the film (other than my willingness to date Adrianne Palicki and Isabel Lucas,
at the same time if possible).The new Red
Dawn is a great venue for speculating on the Second Amendment in action.Remember folks, the Second Amendment (the
right of citizens to own firearms) wasn’t designed for hunting or protecting
the household against bandits…The
Second Amendment was specifically written up to give the citizenry (the unorganized
militia) a fighting chance at opposing a large army should there ever be an
army inflicting tyranny on the population.
Chinese PLA without the North Korean flag superimposed on them
An invading army would certainly be an
example of inflicting tyranny on the citizenry, and also the ideal target for
the wrath of the unorganized militia using their Second Amendment power in
concert.However, it was drawn up by
justifiably paranoid statesmen who had survived the Revolutionary War and knew
that their own country’s standing army could easily become a force for tyranny.The
common practice of citizens owning firearms (and willingness to use them) is
what ultimately enabled the Colonial rebels to defeat Great Britain in our war
of independence.If any foreign army
ever invaded the USA, they can sure bet there would be a rifle waiting for them
behind every blade of grass.
The second redeeming factor is the first
ambush/firefight.That was pretty
believable, up to the point where the tech nerd starts outrunning the .50 cal
fire.As far as lying in wait, popping
out of the ground, and taking advantage of the chaos to run around and shoot,
that’s pretty believable.The third
factor is the end scene.Even though it
reeks of cheesiness, the shot of the prisoners bearing the American flag while making
a break for it was a badass image.
Before I bring this rant to a close I
must declare: Republicans, if you even
try to make the case that a hypothetical invasion of our homeland is Obama and
the Democrats’ fault, I will have to throw things at you.Seriously, that’s like using the movie Captain America to justify an invasion
And one last thing: yes, libertarians, there’s a glaring contradiction between the
nationalistic-defensive theme of this movie and America’s aggressive foreign
policy.I get it.Save the speech for the neoconservatives at
the local Republican club rather than ranting to all your libertarian friends
on Facebook (i.e., preaching to the choir).
* * *
Occupied America flag image by "Woodmath" and used via CC BY 3.0 license.
PLA image by the Department of Defense and is in the public domain.
Both images were obtained from Wikimedia Commons.
Gosh, I feel incredibly silly, I tell ya. Not only did I see the midnight release of this movie but I also took my nephews to see it yesterday night. At least I was a good uncle and used the movie as an opportunity to lecture the boys about the Second Amendment. Leave it to Uncle Zach to kill fun by making it educational!